Panic! The next week contains 6 exams...And that's almost half of them. I only have 13 left. But seriosuly, the next ones are pretty important. Like, first thing tomorrow, I have maths, then in the afternoon, I have latin verse (which is impossible to learn, and I barely know half of it, so I'm terrified of that) Then Tuesday morning, I have an english exam. On Wednesday, I have a french writing exam (I got predicted C for french, so I'm kinda panicky about that, but that's in the afternoon, so I can revise for that all day) Then on Thursday, I have a chemistry exam, and another english paper. So I can wait for tomorrow.

On the other hand, I have arranged to see Tom on the 11th June. And I am so excited =]. Only, it makes me so nervous, because I'm never sure of how to act, because he's been away so long, and I havn't spoken to him in person. And also, because of the dodgy background, I don't know what to say, and what if I say something wrong??

Oh, he's so sweet, and he really seems like he cares, because today, I was studying, and then I went on msn. I started talking to him, and he told me to study, so I get good results. He said it would make him very happy if I got very good results, and he would treat me if I got all As. Oh, and my Mum said if I get all As then I can move out into a smaller flat, on my own. So that's the aim. It's whether I can get that, because that's alot to ask.

Lots of love xxx

I had arranged to meet Travis today. We set the time to meet as 0930, and I thought that would be fine, I would wake up in time for that! But little did I know...So I woke up at 0723, and thought 'oh, I'll just sleep a little longer, that will be fine' ...Bad idea...Next thing I know, its 0930, and I'm still in bed, so I jump up, pull on the nearest clothes, and run to meet him! Luckily I was only 15 mins late, so he was still there. And we had the sweetest day. Well, the sweetest half-day.

Dreaming about:

• The end of exams, no more stress! I can't wait!
• Food..I'm feeling hungry...So off I go to get some food!! Yumm...

xxx Lots of love

So I was going to post a while ago, but then my dad came in and had a fat go at me telling me that I should be 'revising, not playing on the computer'. So I had to go and do some study. Which as it happens, I didn't do; I went straight to bed, after a nice shower.

Just finished cyber sex with Tom. Who I know is using me. But he says he loves me, and I want to believe that, so I stick with him, and hope that he will come back home.

Feeling:

• happy-I have chololate, and am on a post orgasmic high.
• lonely-I havn't seen Tom since the 15th or whenever it was. He's gone back to the midlands or wherever he once came from. Ha ha, he has a nice funny accent.
• kind of upset-not sure why...but I know it's not pmt. =]

Enjoying:

• Half term. Even though I'm on study leave...so it's like one big holiday anyway...half term is still fun.
• Only having 13 exams left...
• Being in a nice warm bed.

Lots of love, xxx

Day 2 since starting the blog again. And already, I am tempted to put some sordid details on here. But I mustn't for fear of getting someone in trouble. Well, maybe by post 4, I might. But untill then, I'm innocent.

Lonely because:

• I have no idea what Tom is doing. Still have no clue about what he feels about me, or anything. I just know I love him. I think.
• I can't talk to anyone about Tom, because no one knows him, except me. Oh, and D.
• I'm feeling sleepy, and a box of chocolates is my only company. Oh, actually, I might go downstaris and get a nice cup of tea. Oh dear, that reminds me of Tom. When I went over his house once, he offered me a cup of tea, and I burnt my tongue.

Looking forward to:

• Picnic tomorrow with Travis. Even though it may rain.
• Eurovision tonight. All the funny songs, great fun. I only wish I had arranged a load of people over mine to watch it. With popcorn!
• Sleeping. I have been up since 0600 today, because of work, and I havn't had a nap. So I shall have one now.

Lots of love, xxx

Okay, so I'm starting again. The old post's were getting a bit rude, and with too much detail. Which could get people into trouble. Which would make me feel even more guilty than I do already.

Stressing about:

• Maths GCSE on Monday...
• Tom-I'm completely not sure about anything with him. He's completely different to any of the other guys I have had, and I just don't really understand his needs. I mean, seeing him yesterday at his hotel was great. But then today, he seemed completely different. I mean, he did say he had a headache, but still. He behaved as if he didn't even want to know me. And now I feel almost worthless. I don't even want to talk to people. Well, maybe Travis..but he just went offline, and I don't have my phone, so I can't ring him, and get him to meet up with me. I feel so lonely.
  

Happy about:

• One exam down, only another million to go!
• Being alive. I guess that's one thing I should always be happy about. As long as I am alive.
  

Anyway, Lots of love. xxx