It looks like my relationship with Travis has failed too. I met up with him last night, and he professed that he didn't understand me at all, and he doesn't believe I understand him either; that we don't connect on all levels, although we do connect on some levels. So he still wants to be friends. But that is so confusing. And I never knew that being dumped could make you feel so bad. I mean, I can't remember being dumped by someone who I actually fancied/liked. But Travis has been so different to all the other guys I know. He is (oddly) more content with talking rather than kissing. Which, I admit, was getting to be a bit of a problem, because I love kisses, but I didn't mind putting up with it, because when we did kiss, it was like my world exploded. I had the butterflies in my tummy and everything.

But here's the really big problem: he still wants to be friends. But I'm not sure if I want to be friends. I mean, surely it's going to be hard to see him, and have to restrain myself against hugging him. But at the same time, I love him too much to lose him. 'The ball is in [my] court' he says. But I don't know what to do for the best.

Changing subject drastically: My Dad has been offered a job in America. Which is both good and bad. It means he has a job (always a plus) and that I am getting rid of him, without losing him completely (which is good: we don't always see eye to eye) but, now I have the option of going to 6th form at my original school. Errrm, I don't really know if I want to. Because a change would be good, and I would have a new start, away from the whole Tom incident. Ooh, the indecisions. I might need to seek alot of help, because I'm shit with making decisions. But the people around me have conflicting intrests, so I'm going to recieve very mixed responses. Wish me luck.